March letter 2026

Maybe springtime is the most inspiring time of the year. Everything lights up, even our minds, if we let them.
I walked to the harbour and listened to the birds cheering from the bushes by the sidewalk. There was sun, by the bay there was a breeze, some ducks were diving around the piers, gentle waves made bobbling sounds, I lost my sense of age.
The spring sensations set me on a timeslide and I was 15, I was 7, I was present in all my times of spring.
Timesliding is a very well-known aspect of the human condition. Maybe not in this wording, but recognizable anyhow. Sensations from the here and now, takes us back to times when. For me the experience was good, I have been blessed with a good life.

In many places on our globe bombs are falling in springtime, laying grounds for fearful timesliding in all springs to come.
In many families in times like Christmas there is quarrel, toxic substances are taken in by the adults, there is aggression and violence, accompanied by Christmas carols in the background. This lay the foundations for painful timeslides released by innocent carols, and season’s smells.
At times people, more often women than men, sometimes even kids, are misused sexually. Laying the grounds for fearful timeslides triggered by any sensations that contains the odour, the words, the sights or the touches that these experiences entail.
What we experience today stays with us for better or worse.
In many societies individuals or groups of individuals are persecuted, downgraded and treated as something no human is or can be, namely filth. Not even those who hurt others should be perceived that way. The persecutors may not primarily be driven by a need to put anyone down, on the contrary in its peculiar way. They aim to make themselves bigger, stronger, mightier. Needless to say, those who feel and act that way, must necessarily feel small, weak and helpless. Otherwise, they would not be driven to abuse.
Whatever the motivation of the misdeeder, those who are maltreated will be loaded with triggers that at any time can put them on a timeslide back to bad old days.
Life is a longitudinal affair where we, if we are lucky, will be loaded with impressions that have the power at any given time to let us slide peacefully back to numerous occasions and indulge in the good old days.
In sexology we often work with individuals that have been victims of coercing sexuality, people who have been marginalized, and people who carry traumas of retention. The latter because they over decades have hidden their inner selves in fear of gruesome sanctions. All of them carry risks of being involuntarily slided to where they do not want to be.
Fortunately, we can help. In therapy we can find ways to recognize the timeslides and build capacity to stay in the here and now. Sexologists who have reached a state where we are comfortable with human sexual expressions, will often be best equipped in cooperations with our clients, to offer relief from former fearful sliding.

Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad

President EFS